How to say "Sorry" in Vietnamese

In Vietnamese culture, apologies are deeply tied to social harmony and respect. The phrase Xin lỗi is used to express regret or to acknowledge a mistake, but its appropriateness depends heavily on the relationship between the speaker and the listener. Unlike in English, where "sorry" can sometimes feel casual, Xin lỗi carries a weight of sincerity and is often paired with body language like a slight bow or hands clasped. Beginners should note that overusing Xin lỗi in casual settings can sound unnatural or even sarcastic. It’s best reserved for situations where you genuinely regret an action or want to show respect.

1. Casual apologies to peers or younger people

Use Xin lỗi when apologizing to friends, classmates, or people younger than you. It’s friendly but still formal enough to show you’re taking responsibility. Avoid using it too casually, as it can sound insincere.

• Xin lỗi, mình đã đến trễ!
  "Sorry, I’m late!"

• Xin lỗi nha, mình vô tình làm rơi đồ của cậu!
  "Sorry, I accidentally dropped your thing!"

2. Formal apologies to elders, superiors, or strangers

When apologizing to someone older, in a higher position (like a boss), or a stranger, Xin lỗi is the standard choice. Adding ạ (a polite particle) softens the tone further. This shows deference and respect, which is crucial in Vietnamese culture.

• Xin lỗi ạ, tôi không cố ý làm phiền chị.
  "Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you."

• Xin lỗi ạ, tôi đã quên mang tài liệu hôm nay.
  "Sorry, I forgot to bring the documents today."

3. Public or service-related apologies

In shops, restaurants, or public transport, Xin lỗi is used to acknowledge a mistake or inconvenience. Adding chị, anh, or cô (depending on the listener’s age) makes it more polite.

• Xin lỗi chị, hôm nay quán hết món rồi.
  "Sorry, ma’am, we’re out of that dish today."

• Xin lỗi anh, tôi đã vô tình chạm vào túi của anh.
  "Sorry, sir, I accidentally touched your bag."

4. Serious or repeated mistakes

For bigger mistakes or when apologizing repeatedly, Vietnamese speakers often add thành thật (sincere) or rất (very) to emphasize sincerity. This is common in work or family settings.

• Xin lỗi thành thật, tôi đã làm sai.
  "I sincerely apologize, I made a mistake."

• Xin lỗi rất nhiều, tôi không chú ý.
  "I’m very sorry, I wasn’t paying attention."

Quick Cheat Sheet

👉 Most useful for daily life: Start by memorizing Xin lỗi for casual situations and Xin lỗi ạ for polite or formal ones. These two cover 80% of everyday use. Avoid overusing it in very casual chats—Vietnamese often use Thôi mà ("Come on, stop it") or Tôi không cố ý ("I didn’t mean to") instead.