How to say "Sorry" in Chinese

In Mandarin Chinese, apologies are deeply tied to social hierarchy, age, and relationship closeness. The phrase 對不起/对不起 (duìbuqǐ) is the most common way to say “sorry,” but its usage depends heavily on who you’re apologizing to and how serious the offense is. Beginners should know that Chinese culture often values indirectness and humility in apologies, so a simple 對不起 can go a long way—but tone and context matter more than the words alone.

1. Casual apologies to peers or younger people Use 對不起/对不起 when apologizing to friends, classmates, or people younger than you. It’s informal but polite enough for most everyday situations.

   • 對不起，我遲到了！ "Sorry, I’m late!"
   • 對不起，我弄壞了你的筆。 "Sorry, I broke your pen."

2. Formal apologies to elders, strangers, or superiors For people older, in higher positions, or whom you’ve just met, 對不起/对不起 is still acceptable, but adding a title or honorific (like 老師 lǎoshī, teacher) softens the apology. A slight bow or hand gesture often accompanies this.

   • 老師，對不起，我忘了帶作業。 "Teacher, sorry, I forgot to bring my homework."
   • 對不起，打擾一下，請讓我過去。 "Sorry to disturb you, please let me pass."

3. Serious or repeated offenses For bigger mistakes (e.g., hurting someone’s feelings, damaging property), Chinese speakers often pair 對不起 with explanations or promises to make amends. Adding 真的 (zhēn de, “really”) or 非常 (fēicháng, “very”) intensifies the apology.

   • 真的對不起，我不是故意的！ "I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to do it!"
   • 對不起，我太粗心了，下次不會了。 "Sorry, I was careless. It won’t happen again."

4. Written apologies (texts, notes, or formal letters) In writing, 對不起 can feel too abrupt. Instead, use 抱歉 (bàoqiàn, “regret”) or 很抱歉 (hěn bàoqiàn, “very sorry”) for a softer tone, especially in professional or distant relationships.

   • 抱歉，我無法參加會議。 "Sorry, I can’t attend the meeting."
   • 很抱歉給您帶來了不便。 "I’m sorry to have caused you inconvenience."

👉 Most useful for daily life: Memorize 對不起 first—it’s the Swiss Army knife of apologies in Chinese. Use it universally, but pair it with a slight bow or hand gesture (especially to elders) to show sincerity. For written apologies or formal settings, switch to 抱歉/很抱歉.